


World's Best Boss

by Spongeekat



Category: Deadpool (Movieverse), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Law Office AU, M/M, Peter is engaged but it's Spideypool, Peter is the cute college aged receptionist, The Office AU, Tony Stark is Michael Scott, Wade is a lawyer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:22:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25712749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spongeekat/pseuds/Spongeekat
Summary: Peter is a receptionist at Stark Law Firm, who kind of sometimes gets really annoyed with his boss. Wade, a lawyer, is his best friend and prank-pulling partner in crime. Peter's also been long-term engaged with Matt Murdock, but that hasn't moved anywhere.An AU of 'The Office,' but with the Avengers  as lawyers at the firm and Tony as the crass boss.
Relationships: Matt Murdock/Peter Parker, Peter Parker/Wade Wilson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 134





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this about 3 years ago, or at least part of it, but I finally wanted to come back to edit it and post it! It's going to be pretty short, but The Office is one of my favorite shows and I've always thought that Peter and Wade would be super cute as Pam and Jim. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!

Everyone hates their bosses. 

Like, really hates them. 'Wanting to punch them and split their lip' kind of hate. 'Grossed out by the mere appearance of their face' kind of hate. 'Hoping they don’t touch you or say good morning when they pass your reception desk' kind of hate. 'Not wanting to hear your name in their mouth because it gives you chills' kind of hate. 'Locking them out of their personal office twice a week to make them have to call a lock-smith thinking it was a broken door' kind of hate. 

That was totally normal, right? 

After all, Peter kind of maybe didn’t really care for the man he currently worked for. And he really hoped that wasn’t a reflection of his own work ethic, or a lack of tolerance for people. He genuinely did pray that it was just a natural sense of inferiority and the use of blunt control that made most normal people feel this sort of disdain. Because he wasn’t a bad employee.

Hopefully. 

Peter had certainly tried to give Tony the benefit of the doubt. He’d been employed at Stark Law Firm for about two years to date, and he’d come into the job with an integrity that couldn’t be matched by any other minimum wage receptionist in the area. He really put in the effort to keep his desk clean and give no reason for Tony to scold him on his performance. However, as time went on, Peter had begun to notice one thing; When you were the son of the corporate manager and had an entire branch under your control, you didn’t have to put in effort to keep your job. And that was exactly what Tony Stark did; minimal effort. So, yes, Peter may have been a little put off to realize Tony yelled day-in-and-out at various employees on their own labor, while he was drunk half the time he showed up to work and couldn’t seem to even sign documents to get out in time. The more comfortable he’d gotten with Peter as well, the more commonplace it was for Peter to hear critiques on his life choices, most negative, and general appearance, most disgustingly positive, but that was part of being a piece of a work force ...Right? 

Maybe Tony was a special case. Maybe just this once, Peter was allowed to dislike his boss without any repercussions. As long as he did it quietly. 

“And good morning to you, my favorite struggling college student.” Glancing up, his soft brown eyes met smiling blue, outlined by a splotch of burn scars that bloomed down over a strong cut jaw and disappeared in the collar of a dress-shirt, and Peter realized within the second he was grinning again. This was one positive aspect of his mornings at least.

“Wade.” Peter hummed, leaning forward and placing his forearms on the front of his desk, slightly elevated from his chair. “Can I trust you with a secret?” 

“Trust me?” As expected, Wade characteristically looked around to make sure they were alone- they weren’t, but no one cared enough to listen anyways- before dropping his voice to a hush. “I accept my mission.” 

“You haven’t heard it yet.”

“I accept it anyways.” 

“Good. I like your enthusiasm.” Peter whispered back as he slipped back into his chair. Quietly, he pulled open the drawer to his desk and produced a paper he slid over the counter. “We got the new copier yesterday, Thor’s day off. He wouldn’t know how to use it yet.” 

Wade raised a ridge where his eyebrow would be as he flipped the paper over. “Voice Activated.” He read off, impressed by Peter’s creativity. “Oh-hoh, public humiliation. Calm down there, Petey, getting a little too close to my kinks.” 

The handle to Tony’s office door creaked, causing Wade to immediately straighten up. He shoved the paper casually under his arm and grabbed his coffee, toasting it to Peter as he headed towards his desk. Peter pulled open his e-mail just as Tony emerged from his office with his usual smirk plastered over his face. Peter knew the small firm would be given about 10 seconds of peace before they were subjected to a usual morning drawl-- 

“Glad to see you all survived the night.” Tony jested, a lazy hand waving his own coffee mug filled with questionable contents before it found his lips. He made an energized sound as the mug left his mouth, though the joking tone only lasted for so long before his true asshole personality decided to shine. “Not an impressive feat. Approximately 6 billion other people also did, and another million were born. Don’t be too proud.” 

So, Peter wasn’t really the only one that didn’t care for Tony much in the firm. Wade, of course, was his long-term friend and partner in crime when it came to… games, to keep Tony on his toes. It was obvious some of the other lawyers that had been working for a more extensive period of time with Tony also didn’t appreciate his dry humor. Some were better at hiding it with their perfect little smiles, like Steve, Rhodey, Clint, Sam, and Bucky. Others were more comfortable showing their irritation, most notably Natasha… and just Natasha. Being an “attractive lady-lawyer,” as Tony preferred to describe her, she got major brownie points in with the boss. Not that she cared. Actually, she probably would prefer to  _ not  _ get treated differently. But she couldn’t do much about that. 

Then there was Bruce. The HR guy. Who Tony really seemed to hate, and no one could quite figure out why. Traumatic experiences when he was a lowly lawyer at Stark Law Firm? Probably. Still, Bruce was a nice guy, so the harassment he took with a pacifistic smile was beyond all of them. 

And finally, Thor. An accountant. Barely. Tony’s loyal sidekick that would likely throw himself out the office window if Tony so much as requested. It wasn’t that he wasn’t smart… he was just… maybe he just respected those in charge a bit too much for his own good. 

How he worshipped the ground Tony stepped on was beyond Peter. Especially when the ground he walked on now was the path leading directly towards the reception desk, and that meant Peter was in for another bad wake-up call. 

“No candy on the desk again?” Tony asked, setting his mug down sloppily. Peter watched with a quirked brow at the droplets rolling down the sides, and he cursed the stain it would leave on the wood he’d have to deal with later. “Parker, what am I paying you for again?” 

“To answer your...calls?” Peter remarked, and made for his phone. His eyes trailed over a blank page drawn up on his monitor, as if he was about to make a call in an attempt to ward away his demons. “I mean, starburst that you’ll take handfuls of so no one else gets any anyways isn’t really in my paycheck.” 

“Noted. I’ll work on that.” Tony retorted, and picked up his mug much to Peter’s relief. Really, it was sad his life was so plain that his highest concern at the moment was whether Tony’s alcoholic caffeine dripped on his worn work desk. “You.. keep doing what you’re doing. You look good. That’s how we draw in the cases, is a hot receptionist.” He paused, smirking teasingly as he drew away. “But since I can’t afford that, do your best, kid.” 

_ Kid. _ Peter almost had his bachelor’s degree in physics. He wasn’t that young. 

Taking a chance look up, he made eye contact again with Wade, who offered him a pity shrug. At least he had one person to fall back on. 

*

“Hey, Peter. Can I get this faxed?” 

The brunette was temporarily distracted from answering emails back to corporate in place of Tony. He turned his eyes up to greet the face of Clint looking back down at him with a grin. 

“It’s 12:02.” Peter reminded as he pointed a finger at the clock he’d purposefully set on his desk so people wouldn’t bother him during his lunch breaks he never got to take. 

“Yeah.” 

“So I’m on break.” Peter prodded with his words. He only got 45 minutes, and part of that was already wasted doing his boss’s job. 

“Mhm.” 

“And we  _ literally _ just installed a new copy-slash-fax machine yesterday, so that everyone would be able to do their own copying  _ and _ faxing.” 

“Following.” 

“So why did you still ask me, Clint?” Peter sighed in exasperation as he shut down his computer, grabbing for his lunch bag that he cradled like a lifeline. 

“Because I’m a lawyer.” Clint shrugged, thrusting the papers out again towards Peter. “And I have other things to do than fax.” 

Peter knit an irritated eyebrow at him, though he took the papers and shoved them back on his desk counter. “Last time, dude.” 

“Yup.” Clint popped the P as he flashed an accomplished smile at the younger man, and turned to stroll back off to his desk. He whispered a ‘told you’ at Natasha as he passed, and her snicker was the last noise Peter heard before he made his escape into the break room. 

Wade was busy checking his phone again for the tenth time in the past 3 minutes when Peter walked in. He stuffed it away quickly, grinning up at him as he watched him take his place. “3 minutes. Record time getting away from the desk.” 

“Yeah, no kidding.” Peter snorted in reply as he pulled out his tupperware. Wade had 12 minutes left, the 15 minutes of time their breaks intersected being cut slightly short. Still, that was time he wouldn’t have had otherwise. “Who am I to complain, though? My job is to be pretty and give out candy.” 

“At least you got half of that mastered.” 

“Once people start bringing me candy to leave out, I’ll do it. Until then, bring your own.” 

“Harsh, Peter-Piper.” 

“I’ve gotten a lot of complaints about it today.” Peter huffed, though his smile still showed through. “Anyways, I-” 

“Well, well, well...Wade and Peter talking. Again.” Tupperwares of lunches were scooched out of the way by one lawyer famous for interrupting. The one and only Sam Wilson. He sat on the surface where the food once lay, dropping his indoor-use-approved sunglasses to get a better look at the both of them. “Pete, does Matt know you guys hang out your entire break?” 

Peter and Wade shared an uncomfortable glance before each pulled their meals towards them, a little bit further apart. Peter’s engagement ring shone on his finger. The one Matt had given him a year ago. 

“Anyways,” Sam continued, as if he hadn’t just lodged an icy wedge between them. “You guys coming to get drinks with us tonight? We’re all going to Gerry’s on 10th Street.” 

“Isn’t it pronounced with a J?” Peter quipped.

“Huh?” 

“Gerry’s. Isn’t it pronounced with a Juh-sound? Not a Guh-sound?” Peter raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Sam, amused as confusion flashed across his expression. 

“Don’t think so.” 

“Definitely a J.” Wade agreed, crossing his arms and resting back in his chair. 

“No way. You guys are messing with me.” Sam said accusingly, hopping off the table as he turned to face them. 

“Well, is it Jif or Gif?” Peter challenged. Sam looked completely befuddled, taking a few insecure steps back towards the door. 

“It’s Jif.” 

“Right. So you’re saying Gerry is pronounced as…?” 

“Juh-Erry?” 

“Mhmmm.” Wade hummed. 

Sam gave them each a confused, and slightly offended, stare, before finally deciding it was time to take his leave. “Yeah, cool, I’ll look into it I guess.” 

“Bye, Sam.” Wade wiggled his fingers in the lawyer’s general direction, until he finally disappeared. With that, the timer on Wade’s phone went off, indicating the end of his lunch. 

“And that is how you get out of an invite to hang with a bunch of skeletons.” Wade shoved his lunch bag over his wrist, brushing over Peter’s shoulder lightly with his fingers as he walked to the door. “Later, Parker.” 

“Bye, Wade.”

Peter swallowed, and took one glance at his ring. It needed polishing, he decided. That was the only reason it looked so out of place on his hand at the moment.

*

Peter was mid-way through his trek back to his desk when he noticed a peculiar paper fluttering on the side of the copier. The breeze from the ceiling caught the un-taped corners and pulled it askew momentarily, but when it settled back against the plastic casing, Peter saw it, in regal-looking optima font. 

**Voice Activated**

His lips curled and he threw a questioning glance towards the lawyer on his left. Wade’s chin was propped against his fist, gazing back at Peter with a matching, amused expression. So, he’d put it up while Peter was at lunch, which was conveniently the same time Thor was often out running errands for Tony. Wade gave him a wink with a little more suggestion than normal that set Peter’s cheeks aflame, and he startled a bit in his step while heading back towards his desk. 

Wade was a bit of a pervert, and he did get on Peter’s nerves at times, but he really was the best part of his job.

Peter settled into his desk to get back to his work, doing his best to focus on the few tasks he actually had for the afternoon. He liked to play busy. It meant the lawyers asked him to do less senseless busywork. As much as he hated the culture of the office at times- but not quite as much as he loved the pay- he was a diligent worker. He got calls and emails started the second he clocked in, and most of his larger assignments done by 1. 

Then it was hours of taking phone calls when needed, and planning his next bit of mischief with Wade. 

Speaking of mischief…

Thor seemed to finally need a copy half an hour before Peter was off work. He’d nearly forgotten about the meager paper flapping under the fan, until he noticed the bulky man making his way through rows of desks towards the crisply white machine. 

Peter’s eyes flickered over to Wade in anticipation, but Wade was already looking at him, biting his lip with a grin that showed off his perfectly straight teeth. Peter’s smile faltered for a moment at a sharp stab of warmth in his chest, and after a second he looked back at Thor. 

Thor shoved the paper into the document feeder, and he stood back, palming the ‘ **Voice Activated’** label one more time. Finally, he cleared his throat, straightened up, and gave an order like a king to one of their servants. 

“Copy.” 

“Oh god.” Peter whispered to himself, burying his head behind his computer screen, his shoulders trembling with laughter. He’d seen, just a second before he went down, Steve looking up at Thor with a confused frown, and it was nearly enough to send Peter into a fit of hysterics. 

“I said,” Thor regained himself from the copier station, his voice louder now, as if the machine was unable to hear properly the first time. “ _ Copy. _ ”

Peter’s phone buzzed on the desk beside his keyboard. He swiped the preview of the text he’d received, seeing it was from Wade. 

**I’m about to lose my shit.**

“You disobey me, mere machine.” Thor said in a dark warning, his thick accent spewing through. “I will not stand for this. I have given you an order, and I would like you to follow it. Now copy my paper, or I’ll take you apart bit by bit until you learn to do as instructed.” 

“Hey, king Thor.” Natasha called from her seat. “Use the buttons.” 

“If I were supposed to use the buttons, then this machine wouldn’t falsely display instructions!” Thor tor off the crudely taped on paper, holding up the crumpled wad for the rest of the office to see. “And I want this machine to copy!” 

“If you can’t use a copier right, I’m going to have to reevaluate your employment here.” Tony snorted from just in front of Peter’s desk, making the receptionist jump. He straightened up, immediately diving into typing on an empty document so he didn’t seem involved in the mayhem, shoving his desk phone to his face. 

Peter peeked up at Tony crossing the office to where Thor stood, ignoring the wadded up paper Thor attempted to hand him. He pressed a few buttons and the copier whirred to life, accepting his document before spitting out three identicals. 

“See?” Tony raised an eyebrow up at the blonde man, before patting Thor’s chest. “It’s easy. Pete can teach you. He’s an expert at copies.” 

Peter forced a wincing smile up at the two and gave a half-hearted nod, motioning to the receiver beeping out a dial tone against his ear to signal he was busy at the moment. 

Thor, satisfied to have gotten his copy, and Tony, seemingly not having any torment to inflict on the employees, finally dispersed, letting Peter shove the phone back on the holder and cover his mouth to stifle a laugh. 

“Jesus fuck,” Wade was giggling like an absolute madman by the time he half-tumbled over to Peter’s desk and ducked behind. Peter looked up at him just as he crouched to be at Peter’s seated level, getting close enough to whisper in his ear. Which of course meant he was laughing hot breaths against his cheek. Peter didn’t pay much mind to that, or when his fingers disappeared between scarred hands, Wade’s knuckles curling around his thinner fist. Wade was always touchy-feely, especially when they were celebrating a prank-gone-right. “You’re something of an evil scientist, Petey.” 

Peter drug his eyes down, suddenly feeling rather embarrassed by the compliment, as his grin widened. “I dunno. I can come up with something better.” 

“C’mon, sweet cheeks, don’t be so modest. The whole office was watch-” 

Someone in the doorway of the firm cleared their throat, effectively cutting Wade off.

If Peter had been paying a bit more attention, perhaps he might have seen on the security footage that he had 2 visitors on their way up to meet them. But he’d been too focused on the way that Wade’s laughter made him feel almost euphorically high, and he hadn’t been watching the door. 

Foggy- Matt’s law partner- was watching them with slight disbelief. Matt stood beside him, stoically, as if he somehow still  _ saw _ despite the fact he couldn’t. It was Matt who had cleared his throat, but it was Foggy who muttered a  _ what the hell _ under his breath.

“Wilson,” Matt spoke in a professional tone that Peter absolutely  _ loathed _ , because it made him sound so unlike himself. “If you don’t mind giving my fiance his space, I came to pick him up for dinner.” 

“He’s holding his hand.” Foggy muttered again. 

Peter swallowed as Wade backed off, hardly realizing they’d still been making physical contact. 

“I think you’re making weird assumptions.” Wade chuckled, an out-of-place nervousness in his voice he didn’t often have. Peter knew he was insecure, but he didn’t show it very often. “We played a prank, on-on Thor. See, Petey had this great idea to put a joking sign on the new copier, and-” 

“‘ _ Petey? _ ’” Foggy questioned. 

“Let me just sign out of my computer.” Peter collected himself enough to navigate to his windows menu, turning his head down as guilt burned on his ears. He wasn’t sure  _ why _ he felt guilty when they were only laughing together- they were good friends after all- but something in the way Foggy and Matt were accusing Wade of acting indecently towards him made his chest tighten. Matt wasn’t overprotective most of the time, unless it was about Wade. He shut his monitor off and pushed himself to his feet, shoving his coat over his arm. By then, the whole office was watching the commotion, no matter how quiet it had been. Steve, who sat just a few feet away, had a pitying expression plastered on his face. “See you Monday, dude.” He said to Wade without looking back, navigating out from behind the desk to follow Matt and Foggy out. 

Wade, who was left behind, took quite a bit of time to gather himself up and finally head back to his own desk. The 20 second walk felt like an eternity, like he was sluggishly making his way up death row, especially with the eyes of the entire damn law team gaping at him. 

As he passed Clint’s desk, he heard it; the faintest jab said to his desk neighbor Rhodey that made Wade want to turn around and throttle him. 

  
“And  _ that’s _ why you don’t go for engaged dudes.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I upped the chapter count by one, because I decided to split the last two chapter of this into two shorter parts!   
> Thanks for reading!

**One month later**

Wade had been sure he was madly in love with Peter since the time he’d walked into the office; messy curls that couldn’t find a comfortable place to lie, absurdly large glasses plopped on his nose, and clothes that hid his alluring figure underneath and all. He’d approached the rattled receptionist to introduce himself on his first day, fully intent on spending the rest of his life with him unless he was straight, but by lunch he’d exhausted nearly all of his energy making Peter laugh in as many ways as he could, and it had taken quite the beating on his heart. So when he’d come out of the break room with a plethora of new jokes and gags and plays on Peter’s name that seemed to make him blush the hardest, only to see Matt- who was  _ taken _ \- leaning on his desk and smiling  _ sooo _ suavely at Peter, he got a little jealous. 

Imagine his surprise when he found out his dream guy was the guy in a relationship with Matt! 

Wade didn’t really  _ give up _ , but he did find a strange comfort in choking on his feelings, despite the fact he knew someone as ethereal as Peter couldn’t ever like a guy like  _ him.  _ He was a corporate lawyer, for god's-sake. He basically murdered people, or at least did everything he could to fuck up the lives of the people that tried to take a stand against his companies. All for a bigger paycheck. And that didn't even cover his grossly mutilated face covered in burn scars he'd gotten years back. Meanwhile, Matt Mur-dick was off saving the fucking world in the slums of New York for the payment of a whole chicken or something. It really pissed him off, because Wade saw the pathetic lunches Peter hid in his crummy lunchbox, and the late-rent notices he used as bookmarks because Matt couldn’t afford to financially support him. If he was Wade’s fiance, he’d get a top-floor condo and hire Peter a private chef so he could just focus on school and all the amazing goals he had for his future. 

But he wasn’t Peter’s boyfriend. So he kept his thoughts to himself and took comfort in the fact that he could tease Peter endlessly under the guise of being best friends. 

The company dinner Tony Stank-ass forced them to attend came twice a year. It was covered by corporate (fuck yeah, free food always tasted better) but it also came with intermissions of Tony's crude jokes and Steve trying pitifully to shut him up. Half of them were often at Peter's expense- about his painfully long engagement to a lawyer that hadn't even mentioned wedding planning, or about his perfectly round ass that was hugged by his slacks  _ so good- _ and they made Wade's stomach cramp up in irritation.

But they also made Peter's cheeks turn red, and his face looked absolutely fucking angelic lit up with a blush. To cover up his humiliation, Peter would drink way more than he should at his size (which to be fair, was 2 normal glasses) and would be half-slurring by the end of the night and leaning on Wade for support. 

It was really cute. And the only reason Wade sat through the dinners like a perfect little employee. 

Peter got to the restaurant late, which was out of character for him, and he sat down next to Wade with barely a "hey," which was also pretty out of character for him. The wine had already been poured by the time he scooted his seat up to the table. Wade watched him gaze longingly at the wine with a frown tugging at his lips, like he wanted to drink it, but didn't want to the second he'd sat down. 

So, Wade reached out for his own glass and took a long sip, which finally prompted Peter to follow suit. 

"School today after work?" Wade guessed, by the tenseness in Peter's shoulders. 

Peter looked back up at him, his eyes puffy. Was he crying? Tired? Wade wished it wasn't either. Sadness didn't fit his soft face. 

"Yeah, long assignments." Peter finally gave him a half-smile, looking down at the menu that had been waiting for him. He always winced at the prices of the food, and Wade watched him scan the menu until the familiar grimace fell on his face. Even if he didn't pay for it, Peter couldn't fathom how much they paid for their meals, and he'd vocally said so the first time he'd attended the dinners. 

_ God, his observations were getting creepy. _

“Finally decided to join us?” Tony hummed from his head spot at the long table, looking all too amused with himself.

Peter let out a small, exasperated puff of air, before he forced a smile and nodded towards his boss. “Yes, sir. The bus was running late.” 

“The bus?” Clint prodded, raising an eyebrow at Peter. “I thought you got chauffeured by Nelson most of the time.” 

“Not everywhere.” Peter said with stress to his words, seemingly barely holding it together. “I don’t rely on them for everything, and I don’t have a car so the bus is fine.” 

Wade watched the way Peter’s shoulders hunched, a frown playing at his lips. Peter was good at hiding his stress, but today he just couldn’t seem to keep it down. The lawyers were only making it worse. 

“But they do-” 

“Hey, Clint.” Wade interrupted him, dragging Clint’s attention away from Peter to give him a break. “How’s Laura doing? She hasn’t been answering my texts as often.” 

Clint’s eyebrows knit in annoyance at his jokes and he rolled his eyes, relenting his questions. “Funny, Wilson. Look at my wife and I’ll make you regret it.”

Peter let out a muffle snicker against his half empty wine glass. The sound set Wade’s heart alight, and he looked back down at the sweet university student. 

“I only came here at all tonight to hang out with you.” Peter whispered softly, looking bashfully down at his wine. “I really didn’t feel up for this.” 

“I promise I’ll make it worth it.” Wade chuckled, leaning on his elbow against the table despite the looks he got from the others at his nonexistent table manners. “Anyone you want me to get a few jabs in on?” 

“Everyone’s fair game.” Peter’s eyes crinkled adorably at the corners as he grinned up at Wade, his eyelashes batting the way Wade was addicted to. “Just make them good.” 

“I’ll take that as an order.” Wade chuckled, following the movement as Peter sipped the last of his glass. He oh-so-casually reached for Peter’s empty glass, setting it aside before replacing it with his own barely touched drink. “I heard they’re careful on the refills here.” 

Peter let out a small laugh, a strange giddiness rising in Wade’s chest. “Got it. Thanks, Wade.” 

*

As predicted, the restaurant wasn’t willing to shovel out unlimited refills to the guests. It didn’t matter- Wade wasn’t half as interested as drinking as he was passing Peter his glasses until he could see him loosening up. He hated to see him upset as much as he loved to see him dopily laughing and uncoordinated. Even drunk, he looked perfect in every way. Wade wasn’t sure he could say that about most people. 

He totally didn’t mean to get Peter wine-drunk, though. Yet, by the end of the meal, Peter could barely keep himself upright in his chair. And Wade realized with a tinge of guilt it was all his fault, and he should get Peter home before he got sick at the table.

"Mur-dick and his friend coming to get you?" Wade held the front door of the restaurant open for the both of them with the curve of his shoulder, letting Peter waver through. His hand tightened on Wade's bicep when he started to lose his balance, and it took every fiber of Wade's being to stifle the noise that tried to work it's way up his throat.

Peter gaped at him for a moment with comically large doe eyes, his lips parting into a sweet grin as he leaned closer to Wade. "Did you just say dick?" 

Wade's face contorted in confusion, before the realization that he'd used his private nickname for Peter's fiance, guiltily chuckling.  _ Shit,  _ He was gonna think he was an absolute asshole. "Did I?" 

Peter let out a gut wrenchingly adorable drunk giggle, his fingers tightening in the fabric of Wade's sleeve. "That's funny." He said, before his lips pursed and he shook his head. "No, I might walk or bus, I guess." 

"That is not happening, baby boy. I'll take you home." Wade would rather die than let Peter drag himself onto public transit when he was inebriated. The creepers were waiting for someone like him. Even if Wade himself was acting like one, fawning over the way Peter's voice lifted when he was intoxicated and practically carrying him towards his car.

"What did you just call-?" 

"Car's this way." Wade grasped his elbow, making sure to keep all touches as impersonal as possible so he wouldn't make Peter uncomfortable, helping him across the parking lot. "Driving you home isn't gonna make your old man upset?" 

"Ew, don't call him that." Peter groaned, getting sloppily in the car when Wade opened the door for him. "You guys are like the same age, I think." 

Wade's chest did a weird  _ thump _ , and he shut the door to circle around to his own seat. At least their age difference might not deter Peter, if only someone like him could find interest in someone like Wade. 

And, ya know. If he didn't have a partner. 

Wade started the car before he could scream out a confession, following Peter's directions towards his home. 

The drive was mostly silent, minus Peter's occasional directions and otherwise soft breathing. Wade held his own just to hear the gentle puffs of air he occasionally let out, seemingly half-asleep on the ride. Then he'd suddenly perk up when they hit a notable milestone, giving Wade a slurred direction with a point of his hand, to make sure Wade understood what he meant, half-lidded brown eyes looking over at him each time. 

The kid was killing his heart. 

Something changed when they were a few streets down. Peter gave his normal "left turn at the light," and motioned with his hand, but he didn't return back to his sleepy sitting. He kept his eyes on Wade. Even focusing on the road, Wade could see him gazing at him. Maybe he had finally realized what he was doing. Maybe he was nervous that Wade had offered to take him home so readily, and he was getting uncomfortable. Maybe he had figured out all of Wade's feelings that he didn't try  _ that _ hard to hide, and he was about to tell him off. 

Peter didn't say much else besides mumbling off the name of his apartment building, and when Wade pulled up to a stop in front of it, he barely even acknowledged it. 

Wade sat in silence for a second, throwing the car into park. It was late enough that they wouldn't need to pull away any time soon. 

“Hey, Pete?” Peter was looking at him again, too closely, like he was analyzing him or something like that. It unnerved Wade, because he was pretty dodgy about the burn scars that swamped down his cheeks and pretty much half of his visual skin, and Peter hadn’t ever had a rotten thing to say about his appearance. “Out you go, little buddy. We’re at your apartment.” 

Peter finally seemed to process what he was saying, a sort of adorably flustered look casting a glow across his cheeks. He clumsily fumbled for the handle, missing it thrice before he found the dexterity to push the BMW door open, cold air rushing in to cool their heated skin. He heaved himself to his feet outside, and Wade, being unable to sit still while the receptionist was struggling to stay on his feet, threw open his own door to walk to where Peter was. 

“I don’t live in a nice apartment.” Peter made a sour face, as if he was ruining some invisible expectations he assumed Wade had. Wade wanted to laugh and run a thumb over his pouty, pillowy lips to soften his expression, because he’d never expected the college kid to live anywhere else  _ but _ a shitty apartment complex in an even shitter part of New York.    
  
He gripped the side of his slacks to keep his hand away, before he did anything he’d regret. 

“Is’alright, Petey-Pie.” Wade soothed the tension dawdling between them both, checking Peter had all of his things before he gently shut the passenger door. Somewhere high above the pavement, probably 15 floors up, a baby started to cry, faintly echoing through their silence. 

“I bet you guys all live in nice apartments.” Peter continued, slightly slurred in tone and his eyes focused anywhere but on Wade. “I mean, I don’t even have my degree yet. I don’t know why I thought…”

Wade’s chest tightened as Peter’s voice teetered off, the unease hanging with every word he said causing five times the reaction in Wade. “Thought what?” Maybe Peter was too drunk to really control what he was saying, and maybe he was just mumbling incomprehensibly like Wade often did when he was bored or nervous. But the look on his face told Wade he was talking about an entirely other issue that was hosted deep inside of him. 

Peter popped his eyes back to look at him, his lids droopy with intoxication. His weight shifted onto his toes occasionally, bringing his face just an inch too close for Wade’s sanity. Oh how he wished he could wrench his lips apart with his tongue and taste every beautiful fucking ridge of his teeth. Peter’s whispery voice mumbled incomprehensibly, and Wade felt beads of sweat gather on the back of his neck. 

_ Fuck. _

“...getting late, Petey.” Wade’s teeth were on the verge of ripping apart his tongue, biting down hard to quell the dangerous impulses. “I should- uh- be anywhere but here.” 

“Mhm.” Peter lightly hummed a lazy response, and he leaned in so close, Wade thought he was falling over. Wade reached to steady his shoulders but Peter pushed right past his grasp, up onto his tip-toes, his face rising up towards Wade’s. Without so much as a warning, soft pink pressed to Wade’s chapped, burned mouth, and with an excited pulse, Wade realized that Peter was kissing him. 

_ F. U. C. K.  _

It was fleeting, transient, and Peter scurried away from him without much of an acknowledgment of the thousands of nerves he’d just set alight on Wade’s skin. Wade was still suspended in awe when Peter’s lips curled up in a smile sweet enough to give God diabetes, over sized glasses unsettled on his nose. Peter loosened his tie and walked the moon back towards the apartment building, each step he took lighting up the street with a divine poise. 

“Don’t marry Matt.” Wade’s voice erupted from an untapped source of honesty within him, and he balked at his own request. “Please, Petey, I… I could give everything to you.” 

Peter seemed to falter, and for a crazy minute, he almost looked to consider it. But he was drunk, and Wade’s sentiment was likely lost on him. “Matt and I…” His eyebrows knit in thought. Like deciphering an equation he hadn’t the slightest clue where to start. 

“Yeah.” Wade croaked. His hand waved a defeated departure. “I know. Get to bed, okay?” 

Wade imagined Peter stumbling up each floor to his apartment, as if he could see through the walls and produce a perfect image of the receptionist. He imagined him sloppily unlocking the door to his place, collapsing in bed fully clothed, and passing out with a gentle relaxation. Wade imagined what it would be like to follow him there, to silently unlace Peter’s shoes and tuck him into the covers; set out advil for the morning and cook Peter a greasy breakfast that screamed hang-over cure. He imagined that for a night, Peter’s kiss was purposeful and emotionally guided, and when they woke up in the morning, Wade would be able to discuss all of the harbored feelings he locked away in the black hole where his heart was supposed to be. 

  
When the heat on his cheeks finally calmed and Wade felt able to breathe once again, and when he was  _ sure _ Peter had likely locked his apartment and fallen into slumber, Wade coaxed himself into the driver's seat of his car to speed home and contemplate the reignited flame of desire for Peter Wade was unable to escape. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Stupid fucking-" Tony pulled harder on his private office door, glaring at the handle, which refused to budge. With a last ditch effort he pressed the sole of his expensive loafers against the surface of the door, giving a sharp tug. 

The door wouldn’t even open an inch. 

The corporate managers standing behind Tony regarded him with raised eyebrow looks at the unprofessional behavior, and the apparently stuck door. Tony turned back to them, smoothing out the creases in both his blazer and between his eyebrows, and puffed out a frustrated breath. "My door lock is tricky. While my receptionist calls a lockpick, let's continue our meeting on the balcony." He offered. "It's a nice day out, anyways.”

Tony led the corporate men behind him towards the glass doors that led to the balcony, and just before he closed them, he waved for Peter to make the inevitable call.

Peter nodded obediently, stifling a mortified smile. The master key was pressed under his palm. He didn't exactly expect corporate to show up that afternoon when he'd just finished his secret locking of Tony's door to add a little more excitement to their droning day of meetings and assignments. Peter was a good and diligent employee, but even he craved excitement in the workplace beyond Tony’s harassment.

He looked up across his desk towards Wade, expecting his typical smirk and air-five. They loved playing this prank together, and loved even more when Tony brought in professionals for a problem that could be handled by a key Tony lost a year and a half ago, that Peter had conveniently picked up. 

Wade wasn't looking at Peter. He was staring at his computer, uninterested in the chaos Peter had created- in front of Tony's bosses no less. The lack of response stung in Peter's chest, and he shrunk down into his chair, lips falling into a neglected grimace. 

The lawyer hadn't so much as looked at him since the dinner a week ago. Since Peter had stupidly kissed him in the heat of the moment. 

Peter had been incredibly drunk and out of his mind. He hoped that Wade would have forgiven him, knowing he wasn't in complete control of himself at the time. Peter took Friday off to nurse his hangover, and by the time he had come back to work on Monday, Wade barely even greeted him when he came in. 

He really had misjudged the situation- and more importantly, misjudged  _ Wade _ \- but he hadn’t expected such a lukewarm response to his shy ‘hello’ he’d busted out first thing when Wade came in for his shift. 

Peter really messed up, and he felt like complete crap for undoubtedly stuffing a wedge between his and Wade’s friendship. He didn’t blame Wade for his reaction. He’d be just as upset if another office colleague sucked his face when they were intoxicated. 

But he and Wade weren’t just coworkers that texted often and got along well on the job. At least, Peter hadn’t thought so. 

Now? He was doubting everything he’d read about them for years.

Peter caught Tony’s eye when he looked back through the glass, motioning for Peter to get the locksmith in. He nodded obediently and ducked his head, typing in the number for the security guard downstairs, Ben. He knew about Peter’s pranks, and he’d play as the fake locksmith, albeit begrudgingly, for the price of a fresh donut from the food cart up the street. Peter and Wade had their allies in the dangers of the prank war. 

He chanced another glance up at Wade, but the lawyer had his back to him as Wade talked on the phone, drawing a frustrated sigh from Peter’s chest. 

So much for making him laugh. He was lucky if Wade ever forgave him.

*

The case was running late, and the office was abuzz with research flying between hands. Peter usually didn’t stay past his scheduled hours, even when it was an all-hands-on-deck kind of assignment, but the lawyers were swamped with their deadline work, and Peter was the fastest at making and distributing copies. He didn’t have much homework that night, and Tony had offered to compensate him double for his help, so he’d stuck around, as much as he didn’t want to. He’d inadvertently thrown off the schedule by locking important documents regarding their client in Tony’s office anyways- which Ben had taken his  _ sweet time  _ ‘picking’ the lock to- so he felt like he owed the law team. 

It was the last of the laminated copies Peter had to distribute that he dropped on Thor’s desk, finishing off the billing paperwork that needed to go out that evening. He’d lingered around his desk, his eyes heavy with exhaustion and the knowledge that it was nearing 10 PM and he was still hanging around the office, and the mistake gave Thor the time to study the hand feeding him documents. 

“Your ring, Peter.” Thor pointed out in his boisterous manner, the one that drew everyone’s attention. He sounded the least bit concerned, moreso just curious. “Did you lose it in the papers?” 

_ That _ certainly caught Thor’s deskmate’s attention, and Peter didn’t check around him to see if anyone else in the office was listening in. Especially not Wade. 

“No, uh,” Peter drew his hand back to himself like he’d been burned, his finger scalding in the place that proof of his engagement had sat for a year. “I haven’t worn it in like three weeks, Thor.” 

Thor balked. Natasha turned to give him one of her famous ‘ _ reading too far into you’  _ stares that seemed to draw all of his horrible flaws and insecurity into sight. Peter forced an awkward smile and gave a helpless shrug. 

“You cut the engagement to Murdock?” 

Peter spun, their boss standing in his doorway with a slight frown on his face. Tony didn’t look as scandled as he usually did when there was potential gossip in the office. Instead, he just looked…

_ Worried?  _

It took all of Peter’s self control not to let his gaze flicker down to Wade, his desk in Peter’s direct line of sight. He praised himself for it, really. His discipline was immaculate. “Matt and I didn’t agree on some things.” He explained with a dry smile. “It’s not really a big deal, which is why I didn’t tell anyone. Our break-up was pretty mutual, anyways.” 

It was vague, but it was true. His gaggle of coworkers didn’t need to know that their argument and ensuing conversation about relational logistics included  _ Wade _ , and a sharp confrontation of Peter’s feelings he hadn’t wanted to admit to. He’d been ashamed of himself— ashamed of the fact that he knew he loved Matt at one point in their relationship, but they naturally had drifted apart when Wade worked his way into Peter’s affection — but Matt had his own hesitations about marrying him if he was still going to remain friends with Wade. 

And Peter couldn’t cut off the one friend that had supported him and been kind and undemanding with him for 2 years, well before he and Matt had even thought about tying the knot. 

“Peter,” Steve spoke with his sweetly affectionate tone that often came out when he was trying to comfort anyone on the law team. Usually, it bothered him to feel so patronized, but the pure concern written into his expression stopped him from getting too upset. “I know that separation can be an extremely difficult thing to process. After my divorce from Peggy, I never thought I’d be whole again. If you want to talk, you know I’m always here.”

Peter cradled the empty hand against his chest, forcing his gaze to stay level and polite. He nodded, feeling smothered under their questions and attention, the case all but forgotten about. “It’s really okay, guys. It was a long time coming. I’m not too heartbroken about it or anything.” 

Finally, he couldn’t help it any longer. His eyes passed over Wade’s face. He was staring at him, his eyes blown and so inquisitive looking. Wade’s lips parted as if he had something he wanted to say when their gaze met, but Peter was turning a second later, walking towards his desk. “That was the last of my work for the night, so I’m gonna head home.” He waved at them with his back to the rest, seizing his messenger bag. “Night everyone.” 

There was a chorus of ‘goodnights’ that drifted after him, and the lawyers gradually went back to their work. As the door swung shut behind him, Peter briefly heard a chair screeching, and he turned to look back at the office entrance.

A moment passed, and Wade threw the door open, staring at Peter. Searching, like he expected him to have grown a second head. Peter froze in his spot. His heart raced, and his breath caught in his chest. They didn’t say a word until the door had settled into place, and the only noise was the buzzing of the fluorescents overhead. 

“Wade, I’m sorry that-” 

“So you were single when-” 

They spoke over one another, then fell off in silence in turn. Peter swallowed down the lump in his throat. 

“You can go.” Peter mumbled. 

Wade shifted on his feet, looking as bewildered as Peter felt. He seemed to check over his shoulder to see if anyone was listening, then stepped closer to Peter. He licked his lips, gathering his thoughts. “When you kissed me.” Wade spoke, more focused than Peter had ever heard him. “You were single?” 

Peter somehow convinced his head to nod through the heaviness in his head. 

“Did you mean it?” Wade asked, his eyes flickering away. 

Peter’s heart flipped. Was Wade  _ embarrassed?  _ The man that dedicated his life to getting a rise out of everyone he knew. But in front of Peter, he looked unsure. Bashful. Maybe a little scared. 

“Did I mean to kiss you?” Peter repeated. 

“Did you… fuck, Pete,” Wade rubbed the back of his neck, growing more uncomfortable by the second. “Did you mean what it...what it  _ meant. _ ” 

Peter’s lip quirked up at the corner, Wade’s timidness somehow helping him relax. The pounding of his heart eased from panicked to fluttery. “Did you want it to?” 

Wade gave him a suspicious look. “Answering a question with a question.” He hummed in frustration. “I see. Ball’s in my court. But you gotta know I’m in this round to win the tournament, Petey-Pie. So you better take a knee now if you wanna get off this roster.” 

Peter rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that’s how sports metaphors work.” 

“The hell if I care.” Wade stepped closer again, and his shoe brushed the toe’s of Peter’s, and  _ God,  _ when had he gotten so close? “Petey, I need to hear it straight, as straight as this can get when it’s us.” He spoke quieter, and his fingers threaded in the back of Peter’s hair, tilting his head up towards Wade. Blue eyes stared intently back at Peter, bouncing back and forth between confidence and fear. “I got an olive branch dangling right in front of ya. Tell me you were drunk, don’t even remember it. I laugh, pick fake dandruff out of your hair. We go home, pretend this never happened. My lil’ ol feelings survive.” 

“Or,” Peter felt out of breath. “Or… I tell you I  _ was _ drunk, and I probably wouldn’t have done that sober.” 

Wade’s hand loosened off of his hair immediately, and Peter was quick to speak again. Amend the situation. “I mean, not without asking like that, you know?” 

Wade stared, and Peter waited. When Wade kept staring, looking like he’d shorted out, Peter decided he couldn’t leave him hanging that way. He grabbed the front of his blazer, and gave a short tug. “So… can I? Do it again?” 

Wade chuckled like he’d gone half mad. “I don’t ever want you to think you have to ask again, you perfect fucking specimen.” 

Wace stooped and pressed his lips to Peter’s, pulling him up by his head and bending him half back. Peter knew he’d fall if he let go, as he clung to Wade just to stay on his feet, but he trusted Wade not to drop him. 

He trusted him with everything he could give him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being so brief!! I wanted to finish out this story so it wasn't hanging over my head, and it didn't really seem like something anyone wanted to read, so I kept it short. Thanks to those who did end up liking it! It wasn't my favorite plot idea, but I've had this draft since 2017 and wanted to get it out there and done.


End file.
